Sleep, Glorious Sleep

Juliet passed out on our bed after some tummy time.

 
Over the past couple of weeks, Juliet has begun sleeping through the night.  Before I was a parent, I would have considered "through the night" to be something like 10:00 pm till 8:00 am.  Now, I understand that for an eleven-week old, six or seven consecutive hours of sleep counts as "through the night."

Juliet now consistently goes down at 10:30 pm and sleeps through until at least 4:45 am.  Three times now, she's slept past 6:00 am.  On more than one occasion, I have woken in a panic thinking, "OhmyGod!  She's not made a peep since 10:30!  Is she still breathing?!?!"  Thankfully, she's been happily snoozing in her crib when I've gone to check on her.

This morning, she slept till 6:26.  When I woke up and looked at my watch, I couldn't help but smile and say a prayer of thanksgiving.  It's as if our sweet little angel knew we needed to sleep in.  (Oh, how sad that sleeping past 6:00 am is considered "sleeping in" for us!)  Yesterday was Ray's birthday, and we spent the better part of the day with our CrossFit Black Box family.  The gym was having a fundraiser and multiple workouts.  We took Juliet with us when we went to the gym at 9:00 am.  She stayed there with us until I took her home a little after noon.  Then, we took her with us to the CFBB Christmas party, and we passed her around to several gym members.  (I am so thankful that she's such a happy baby and lets other people hold her without crying.  It makes me feel like we're raising a sociable child, and it makes me feel less anxious about others holding her if she's happy while they're doing it.)  I guess because her day was so busy (she was awake a lot), she was worn out and slept well.  I know Ray and I were worn out, so the extra uninterrupted sleep was something we both needed.

Ray credits On Becoming Babywise for this sleep.  In fact, the subtitle of that book is something like "Giving your infant the gift of sleep."  While I'm sure Juliet likes to sleep, it really is more of a gift for the parents at this point.  (Perhaps later it's a gift for her?  The ability to sleep through the night must surely be good for her growth and development.)  The book helps you build a schedule around your child's natural eat-wake-sleep cycle.  By encouraging and fostering that pattern, most Babywise kids sleep through the night by three months of age.

It's so funny to hear others talk about when their children sleep through the night.  On one end of the spectrum are people like my parents who say, "You and Patrick were sleeping through the night at two weeks old!"  Um, somehow, I doubt that.  But if we were, maybe that's why we're both of smaller stature... We were STARVED!  (Kidding, Mom!)  Hospital staff beat into mine and Ray's heads that we were to wake Juliet every 2.5 - 3 hours to feed her for the first several weeks, and everything else we read (including Babywise) said the same thing.  At the other end of the spectrum are people who say, "Wow! I haven't slept through the night in six years since our first was born!"  Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou, Juliet, for letting Dad and Mama sleep!

I do think that the schedule and routine we established with Juliet are the main reasons we're getting such good sleep now.  But I also think that we're also very lucky.  Our Juliet is a pretty easy baby from what I've been able to discern.  As I'm typing this, she's napping on the couch next to me, and I have to wonder... Is Juliet an easy baby because that's her personality?  Or is she an easy baby because of what we've done based on our parenting philosophy?  Regardless of the answer, it's awesome to have a baby who doesn't need to be rocked or sung to sleep and who sleeps through the night already.  Reasons number 2387429374 that we love her and think she's the best thing ever.  Ever.

Baby Gear

Now that we've had Juliet here with us for a little more than two months, we've had plenty of opportunity to use most of the items we were given or we bought in preparation for her arrival.  While I was pregnant, I asked my new-mom friends for advice on what to get and what to skip.  They were super helpful, and many went into detail about why they felt certain items were must-haves and others were a waste of time and money.  Of course, there was conflicting advice because I'd asked such a wide variety of people, but knowing the reasoning behind each bit of advice helped us make choices we felt would be right for us.  I thought it'd be worth sharing what we thought regarding baby gear since so many of this blog's readers were kind enough to give us needed items... And since some of our friends are expecting their first baby.  :)

Items We Love

• Medela Pump In Style Advanced Breast Pump. I cannot say enough about this piece of equipment. It allows you to pump from both sides at once, making the process of pumping much faster.  I love that it came with a mini ice chest for storage and that it's just a plain black backpack.  It doesn't scream, "I'm a breast pump!!" so it's not awkward feeling toting it around in public.
• Boppy pillow.  This made feeding Juliet so much easier.  Ray has even used it while giving her a bottle.  It's firmer than regular pillows, too, which I really liked in terms of giving my arms some support.
• Wipe Warmer.  Ray will tell you that this is the best $20 we ever spent.  Juliet screamed bloody murder for the first two weeks of her life each time you changed her diaper because she hated the cold wet wipes on her tiny baby hiney.  Our friends Austin and Katrina recommended this to us, and I wish that we had gotten it before Juliet's birth.  It's made diaper-changing a cheerful, happy time for her.
• Gerber Sleep Sacks.  Okay, so these aren't traditional sleep sacks that can be used as an alternative to swaddling, but they're similar.  These sacks make middle-of-the-night diaper changes so much easier and faster than fumbling with onesie snaps and pants.  Every one of these we got as hand-me-downs, and they're all we use at night now.
• Hospital swaddling blankets.  I wish there was a link to these, but they're not available in stores.  We accidentally managed to take two of them home with us, and they are the best swaddling blankets.  They're made of a sturdy cotton and are 48 inches square.  No other swaddling blanket available in stores will keep our little escape artist swaddled.
• Munchkin Shampoo Rinser.  This thing is the bomb!  Its soft mouth lets us mash it against Juliet's forehead to keep the water out of her eyes, and it's the perfect size to hold a big bottle of Johnson's Baby Shampoo, which helps keep the bathroom a little neater.  I also think it looks a little nicer than a plastic cup from the kitchen.
• Lady Bug Night Light.  It puts off the perfect amount of light, gives Juliet something to stare at other than the ceiling fan, and has real constellations for us to help her find when she's older.
• Clothes.  Juliet received so many clothes as hand-me-downs and as shower gifts that we have not had to purchase anything for her other than some pants as the weather has gotten colder.  We didn't register for any clothes, and I'm glad that we didn't.  I cannot imagine how large her wardrobe would have been if we had.  Plus, I love putting her in outfits and thinking about the person who gave us that outfit.  I've tried to take pictures and send them to the person who gave us the clothes, but that doesn't always work out like I plan.
• Books.  We began reading to Juliet even before she was born.  We still read to her now, and it is the most amazing thing to watch her stare at the colorful pages.
• Monkey Bouncer.  We don't have this exact bouncer, but ours is similar.  I put Juliet in it all the time now.  It's a perfect place for her to hang out while I take care of things around the house so that I don't have to put her in her crib.  And she loves the monkey and mirror that are hanging in front of her for entertainment.

Items to Leave Off Your Registry

• Baby blankets.  I'm not exaggerating when I say that Juliet has eleven blankets.  And, honestly, that was just at last count.  She's gotten several more since I last counted.  Almost every one was handmade by someone who loves us/her.  They are all very special, but I'm so glad we didn't register for any blankets because we would have had to build an addition just for the blankets.
• Clothes.  People love buying baby clothes, and they will buy them for you whether you register for them or not. My advice is not to bother registering for any and save the registry for items you think you really need.

Big Ticket Items
Items like a crib, a dresser, a changing table, a stroller, a car seat, and other bigger (and more expensive) items can be difficult.  There are so many choices that it can be overwhelming, and there really is no right answer.  The way we made our choices on these items was to look at our available space (in the nursery) and to listen to the advice of people who lead similar lifestyles (regarding strollers).

One last thought... Our friends Austin and Katrina gave us a copy of On Becoming Babywise, and our copy is dog-eared and battered already from frequent reading.  It's a fairly controversial book in that people either swear by it or hate it.  (To be quite honest, though, our friends who hate it all admit that they haven't read it.)  This parenting philosophy is what works for our family, and the book was filled with a lot of really helpful information about growth spurts and sleep patterns and what to expect those first few weeks.  I recommend reading it regardless of what kind of parent you think you want to be.  I also recommend reading about the Attachment Parenting philosophy.  The two philosophies are fairly different (although they are not polar opposites as some people would suggest), but both are worth considering.  I have found that AP is not something I agree with or that would work for us, but there is a lot of advocating of trusting your instincts within that philosophy, and I appreciate that.

Juliet relaxing in her bouncer at two weeks old.

Milestones

Today, Juliet rolled over all by herself.  She's been trying to roll over since she was about 2 weeks old, but today was the day she finally made it happen.  After her 7:00 am feeding, I put her on her tummy on our bed while I got dressed.  I turned around from the closet just in time to watch her roll over.  The look on her face was priceless.  At first, she looked surprised.  Then, she smiled and was clearly quite pleased with herself.

Juliet post-rollover

To be perfectly honest, I was quite pleased with her, too.  I grabbed my phone to take that post-roll picture and texted it to Ray.  I was (am) ridiculously proud of her for accomplishing this feat.  In reality, I understand that her ability to roll over isn't worthy of a legitimate trophy, but in a world of participation trophies... She deserves one! I'm sure Susie Morris would concede this point.

In addition to rolling over this morning, Juliet has had a few other milestones recently.  

She's begun really smiling in response to others smiling at her and talking to her.  It is so, so amazing to smile at her and have her smile back at you.  (To check that it's really smiling and not gas, I have smiled, gotten a response smile, stopped smiling, waited on her to stop, smiled again, and confirmed that she smiled again.  I'm not crazy, people.)  I think the only thing that comes close to feeling as good as that is watching her smile back at her dad.

Her eyesight is clearly developing, too, as she's starting to follow Ray and I as we move across the room.  She's actively watching us, which is so neat.  Before, she'd only look at us on accident, but now she'll watch us and turn her head to follow where we're going.  Last weekend, she was in her monkey bouncer, and we both left the room.  She started hollering, and when I walked back in the room, she stopped.  I realize this could be a dangerous habit to start.  I want her to be okay being in a room without us.  But, at the same time, it was pretty awesome to see that she's conscious of when we are with her and when we are not. 

And, of course, she celebrated her first two holidays.  Halloween wasn't too exciting for her since she's way too little to trick-or-treat.  And Ray talked me out of making her a costume, so we just put her in a Halloween onesie and a coordinating tutu I made for her.  We went to the annual Handley Halloween party at Jack and Ann's house and took pictures and just enjoyed some family time.  Thanksgiving was her second holiday, and that was kind of nice because she's starting to be awake more often, so she was able to interact with family more.  She got to meet her cousin Rachel for the first time on Friday out at my parents' house, and that was a pretty exciting moment for me.  I hope so much that Rachel will enjoy her as much as I have enjoyed Rachel over the past 19 years.  Before Juliet was born, Ray and I were discussing good role models for her.  Ray suggested then (and has reiterated this on more than one occasion since Juliet's birth) that the best we could hope for was for Juliet to be like Rachel.  Rachel is smart, funny, motivated, kind, responsible, well-behaved (without being a goody-two-shoes), and confident.  I feel very fortunate that Rachel intends to spend a lot of time with Juliet. 

As all of the stores have been rolling out their Christmas items, I've spent a ton of time thinking about how to make this Christmas special for an infant.  To be honest, I've pretty much drawn a blank.  The only things I've been able to come up with is to make her stocking and to continue a family tradition started by my maternal grandmother.  Each year, Mama Carol gave her daughters a Christmas ornament.  And each year since we've been born, my mom has given me and Patrick Christmas ornaments.   My favorites are the ornaments that somehow signify whatever was important in my life that year.  One of the neatest things about this tradition, in my opinion, is that when we were old enough to have our own Christmas trees, we've all had ornaments to remind us of home and our roots and enough ornaments so that we're not having to run out and buy a bunch.  Ray and I are going to pick a special ornament for Juliet in the next week or two.  I went in search a special stocking, but I couldn't find anything I liked.  So I decided that I would sew all three of us stockings because I need to practice sewing, right?  I went to Joann's today and found three coordinating Christmas fabrics that were not hideous, and I plan to try to get the stockings finished tomorrow.  Then, I'll take them to a local embroidery shop and have our names put on them.  But, until I can get the stockings finished and the tree up with her ornament on it, I've got to find a way to get Juliet in the Christmas spirit.  So, I've decided that it's close enough to Christmas for me to start dressing Juliet in Christmas-y attire.

She's still proud of herself for rolling over.  And I'm pretty sure she's also really excited to be wearing a Christmas onesie. ;)

We don't have another doctor's appointment for another three weeks, but I know Juliet's making serious strides in her weight gain.  The evidence is in how many clothes she's outgrown (and it's also in her chubby cheeks and thighs!).  I also think it's probably time to remove the extra cushion in her car seat since it's starting to squish her. 

I can't wait to get her stocking finished and hung, the tree up, and presents wrapped so that I can take many gratuitous pictures of her in front of it all!

 

Seven Weeks

Over the past week and a half, Juliet has tended towards excessive fussiness between the hours of 3:00 pm and 10:00 pm.  Thankfully, she is rarely fussy the entire seven-hour stretch, but the 7:00 pm feeding always seems to fall within whatever hours she's going to be fussy.

I should stop right here and explain what I mean by "fussy."  Instead of going down for her nap and staying down, she'll wake up frequently and cry.  No amount of time is enough for her to cry it out.  You can go in the nursery and put her pacifier back in her mouth, but that will only last a maximum of 15 minutes.  Then, she spits it back out and starts to cry again.  On bad days, she just cries the entire time, even if you hold her.   On the worst days, her crying is actually screaming and sometimes quite shrill.  And on these worst days, she will sometimes scream through her feeding.  It can be extremely frustrating because you know she needs to eat, but she is just so beside herself that she won't settle down and actually eat.  In a moment of sheer desperation early last week, I stood up and swung her from side to side (twisting at my waist) while trying to feed her.  It was the only thing I could do to get her to stop crying and eat.  I'm surprised she was able to eat like that and not throw up, but hey - whatever works.

This past Thursday, Ray and I worked out a tag-team gym schedule.  He went to the 5:00 pm class, and Juliet and I met him there in time for me to work out at 6:00.  He took Juliet home with him and was sure to leave in plenty of time to give her the 7:00 pm bottle.  She had been just a little bit fussy for her 4:00 o'clock feeding, but nothing major, so I didn't think about the possibility of Juliet being a challenge for Ray.  My mistake.

When I walked in our front door at 7:15, Juliet was screaming.  I winced and immediately felt sorry for Ray because I know how frustrating it is to feed her when she's like that.  I turned the corner into the living room, and my poor, sweet husband was sitting on the couch in his workout clothes with a bottle in one hand and Juliet in the other.  Over his ears was a set of Army-issued ear protection.  That's right.  He was wearing the same ear pro he wears on combat missions and on the shooting range.  It looks pretty much like this:

I somehow managed not to laugh and asked if he was okay.  He explained that she'd reached a pitch and volume that were such that he could feel his eardrums vibrating.  Ear protection was the only option at that point.  After a few minutes, I showed him my swing-and-feed technique, and we got her to finish most of the bottle.  It's days later, and I'm still unsure about that whole experience.  On one hand, I find it hilarious that our seven-week old daughter reduced my husband to wearing ear pro.  One the other hand, I'm really sort of disappointed that I didn't think of using it myself.  I so wish that I had gotten a picture of this scene.  I would have made it our Christmas card.


Here's proof, though, that they both made it through okay.  Saturday morning snuggle time with Dad.
                                     

Say Cheese!

Juliet has learned to smile a real smile (as opposed to smiling while passing gas).  At first, we weren't sure since she was smiling after her meals, which is prime time for gas.  However, I was changing her one afternoon, and I noticed that she was smiling like I was smiling at her - a different kind of smile than her usual one.  So, I stopped smiling and waited until she stopped.  I then smiled again at her, and she smiled back at me!  When Ray got home, he was holding her and smiling at her while talking to her.  She smiled back at him, too.  It is the most amazing thing to watch her smile in response to our smiles.  It feels like our first real communication.  Until now, communication was largely Juliet crying and us trying to figure out what she needed.  We talked and sang to her, of course, but she didn't really respond.  This smiling back at us feels more like an actual exchange.

I think I've mentioned that Juliet loves bath time, so we get lots of smiles from her in the tub.  My favorite smiles, though, are the ones that I get from her when I go in to wake her up.  There is nothing better than having our daughter smile as soon as she sees me leaning over her crib.  Watching Ray elicit smiles from her is amazing also.  When he gets a big smile from her, he will laugh and comment either on how awesome she is or how funny she is.

I think turning over will be her next milestone, but I'm looking forward to hearing her laugh.

One Month

Today, Juliet is exactly one month old.  In just one month, she has:

• Gained two pounds
• Grown more than two inches in length
• Shifted from several middle-of-the-night feedings to just one 3:00 am feeding
• Outgrown several onesies
• Peed, pooped, and puked on us countless times
• Kept us up all night several times
• Learned to manipulate us into coming back into the nursery at her beck and call
• Learned to self-soothe
• Taught us patience
• Jammed to a lot of Van Morrison
• Started to focus her eyes on us and other objects in front of her
• Impressed us with her strength 
• Taught us new depths of love
• Given us an appreciation for each other 
• Helped us count our blessings each and every day

Every Mama Crow

At Juliet's check up on Wednesday, we learned that she's gained almost two pounds since she was born and now weighs 8 pounds and 6 ounces.  In addition to the weight gain, she's also grown two and a half inches in length, so she's now 21.5 inches long.  Dr. Hugh VanLandingham, our family practitioner, was very pleased with her progress and again remarked on her "atypical" strength.  (I'm telling you, she's going to be doing pull ups at 6 months!)  He noted that she's already focusing her eyes on you and went so far as to say, "She's perfect."

After we left the doctor's office, I called Ray to give him the update and shared that Hugh had called her "perfect."  I explained that I took his comment as validation that our daughter is, in fact, the most perfect human being ever.  Ray agreed with my assessment of Juliet but thought, perhaps, part of Hugh's medical training included ways to talk to and reassure mothers using words like "perfect."  Ray reminded me for what felt like the tenth time since Juliet was born that "every mama crow thinks her baby's the blackest."

I'm sure that's true.  I'm certain all moms (or, at the very least, all decent moms) think their babies are the best.  I understand why moms would think that.  But let's be honest.  Juliet really is the best.  She's cute, she's not fussy unless she's hungry or gassy, she's strong, she's funny, she can already smile (and I swear it's not gas), she's almost turning over, and she can already scoot herself around in her crib/on the floor.  Certainly, she has some areas she could improve upon... Namely, she could stop peeing, pooping, and puking on her parents.  But other than that?  What else could she improve?  Okay, maybe she could work on sleeping through the night.  And perhaps stop pooping in her diaper the second we change her.  But other than those things?

Yep.  This mama crow knows her baby's the blackest.  :)

Juliet post-bath trying to decide how long to wait to puke on the cute outfit Mama's about to put on her

Lullaby and Goodnight

This week, we had a very rough night with Juliet.  She got out of her groove because she missed a sleep session because of a visitor.  Neither Ray nor I realized just how badly this would mess her up, but she ended up being too tired to eat later on and then fighting sleep and basically screaming her head off for roughly six hours.  It was not a lot of fun, but we learned some valuable lessons out of it.  First and foremost, we will not be letting visitors keep Juliet awake again any time soon.  After she eats, her wake time will be calming, not stimulating.  Perhaps when she's older, we can reconsider this decision, but right now, that rule is non-negotiable.

Beyond that priceless lesson, I also realized that singing to Juliet can help calm her down.  But she doesn't like it when you sing traditional children's songs to her.  "ABCs" and "Lullaby and Goodnight" leave her utterly unimpressed.  Out of sheer desperation, I wracked my brains for songs I could remember the words to.  Considering how sleep-deprived and frustrated I was, I couldn't come up with much.  The first song I thought of was "A Pirate Looks at Forty" by Jimmy Buffett.  Juliet immediately quieted down.  Anyone who has ever had the unfortunate experience of hearing me sing will know that it was not my beautiful voice that calmed her.  It had to be the song.  After I got her settled, I sent Ray a text that said, "Tip: Juliet finds 'A Pirate Looks at 40' really soothing."  I also considered her reaction to this song proof positive that Juliet is totally mine and Ray's child. 

Later on that day, she was fussing again.  I ran through "Pirate" two times, and she was still not totally satisfied.  I grabbed the iPod that we'd been using to play white noise for Juliet and scanned through it, trying to come up with ideas of other songs I knew the words to.  It was mostly Spanish conversation and terribly hard, inappropriate music for Ray's workouts.  But I did find "Wagon Wheel" by Old Crow Medicine Show and started to sing that.  Her eyes got heavy, and she stopped fussing entirely.  Success!  (I also thought the fact that Juliet liked this song to be pretty cool since her great-grandfather played in a bluegrass band.)

At roughly 1:00 am the following morning, Ray and I were in the nursery trying desperately to get Juliet to stop screaming.  I practically yelled at Ray (to be heard over her screams), "Pirate!  Sing Pirate!"  As we started to sing, she stopped screaming and started listening.  After we got her calm enough to put down, we immediately went to my computer and made a "Juliet Sleep Mix" playlist.  It includes songs from Van Morrison, Rufus Wainwright, Jack Johnson, Kenny Chesney (hey, "You and Tequila" seemed extremely appropriate at the time - don't judge us), and others.

After her next feeding, we put on her playlist and sang along with a song to get her settled down.  As we closed the nursery door behind us, Ray grabbed my hand and we danced to "These Are the Days" and "Into the Mystic" as they played in Juliet's room.  We were deliriously tired and happy to have found a quick go-to to help us quiet our screaming child, and it was nice to share the victory.  We were so proud of ourselves and our sweet, sweet baby that staying up an extra few minutes to dance was really nice. 

Ray reminded me as we danced, "We're going to be okay.  This phase doesn't last forever.  If it did, no one would have more than one child."  I cried/laughed and said, "One day, you'll be dancing with Juliet on your feet to these songs.  You'll have to tell her about this."  I have no doubt that his version of the story will include how happy we were to have her and how impressed we were with how loud such a little thing could be.  Really, when she gets going, it's amazing to hear such a small set of lungs produce cries at that volume.  I think it's yet another sign of her exceptionalism.  :)

Routine

For the past couple of weeks, we've been trying to move Juliet towards a routine. Along the way, we've encountered problems with her not being hungry every three hours, her not wanting to wake up to eat, her having bad gas, and us allowing well-meaning visitors get Juliet off track by keeping her awake during what should be a sleep cycle.

It's been such a revealing few weeks for Ray and me both. It's amazing what you learn about yourself and your partner when you're sleep-deprived. I think the most important thing I've learned is that I really might be married to the best man alive. I could fill an entire blog with all the wonderful things about him, but I'll just summarize by saying that he is equally involved with Juliet and partners fully with me in making decisions for/about her. In addition to that, he actively works to make sure I'm doing okay and taking care of myself.
We finally feel like we've settled into a good schedule that ensures Juliet is eating and sleeping well and also allows Ray and me to get rest. Life is good. Life is very, very good.

Juliet in her pig onesie made for her by Brandi Young at a baby shower hosted for us by Adrianne Kautz.

October 1, 2012

Before:

We took one last belly picture before heading to the hospital.

After:

We're a family!

Why We Decided to Induce
This was not a decision we made lightly.  I had very strong feelings about letting my body do what it was designed to do and about letting the baby come when she was ready.  However, I was also struggling to continue to work each day, I was so ready for her to arrive, and I had very strong feelings about which doctors I did not want delivering my baby.


So, after long talks with my friends who had gone through inductions, friends who'd done it naturally, and Ray... I still didn't know.  On Sunday, September 30, Ray and I went to the hospital to take advantage of our favorite Labor and Delivery nurse.  We had Elizabeth check my status and strip my membranes, and we talked to her about inducing.  As we expected, she would not offer any opinion regarding whether or not we should induce.  Instead, she talked to us about the state of my body (ready for delivery), the baby's state (fine to stay in a little longer), the process of induction, and which doctors would be available.  She gave us two bits of information that gave me the confidence to go ahead and try induction.  First, she explained that I could change my mind at any time as long as my water had not broken.  They would stop Pitocin, and I could walk out of the hospital as long as my contractions stopped.  Second, she explained that Dr. Dixon was scheduled to work on Monday and that he would not likely work again until the following weekend.

Knowing that I had the freedom to change my mind was huge.  And thinking about some of the other doctors at NFWC I'd seen pushed me over the line.  We'd try the induction.

My Experience
Every pregnancy and delivery is different, but my experience with induction was actually really good.  Elizabeth started the Pitocin slowly.  As the contractions built, she had the anesthesiologist come in and explain all the risks of epidurals so that if and when I decided I wanted one, I'd be ready to go.  (My plan regarding the epidural was to labor as long as I could without it.  And if I got to the point that the pain was too much, I'd get an epidural and not beat myself up.  After all, my friend Susie wisely pointed out, "They don't give you a trophy for doing that shit naturally!")

I can't recall the exact timing of everything, but I believe we started Pitocin around 10:30 or 11:00.  The contractions I was having were really nothing worse than the Braxton Hicks until I started having back labor.  Apparently, Juliet was moving down face-up, which caused really strong, very painful contractions in my back.  I changed positions, Ray and Elizabeth both applied a lot of counter-pressure, but eventually, it was just too much.  I told Ray I wanted an epidural, and he had Elizabeth call in the anesthesiologist.  He informed her that he was about to go into a Cesarean and wouldn't be able to get to me for another hour to an hour and a half.    To tide me over, Elizabeth gave me something (I still don't know what) in my IV that literally started working within seconds.  I felt drunk and said all sorts of silly things, most of which I don't remember.

I'm not sure when the anesthesiologist showed up, but I do know that he wouldn't shut up.  The drugs Elizabeth had given me earlier were wearing off, and I was ready to strangle the guy who was going to give me some relief.  Both Ray and Elizabeth asked him to stop talking on my behalf.  Thankfully, he left quickly, and the epidural began working pretty quickly.

At some point, Elizabeth checked me for dilation, and I was at seven centimeters.  A while after that, she wasn't getting the heart rate readings she wanted for Juliet, so she hooked her up to an internal monitor and waited for a change in her heart rate in relation to my contractions that would signal it would be time to push.  What felt like several hours later, I asked if Elizabeth thought I'd dilated anymore, and she said, "Let's check."  Then, she exclaimed, "That's her head!!"  Juliet had moved down much further than we'd thought based on the monitor's readings.  Elizabeth quickly called for Dr. Dixon and began getting ready for the delivery.  Ray sent a text to our parents and to our designated distributors of information that simply said, "Pushing."  Dixon arrived quickly and threw on a gown as he realized how close Juliet was to arrival.

I don't know how long I pushed, but I know it wasn't long at all.  Dr. Dixon allowed Elizabeth to step in and deliver her first niece, and Ray watched the whole process.  It's the strangest thing.  I don't remember much at all about this time except watching Ray's face as he watched our daughter being born and feeling completely, totally calm.  I wasn't anxious, scared, or anything other than really, really calm and ready to see Juliet.  I don't have words to describe Ray's face very well.  He just looked amazed and happy.

Juliet Corinne Handley
She was born at 6:38 pm, weighed 6 pounds and 10 ounces, and was 19.5 inches long.  She is the most perfect human being I've ever seen.  Her feet and fingers are long, and she's very strong.  (The doctor noted that her neck strength and head control are "atypical."  I'm pretty sure we have a future CrossFit champ.)  She grew an inch and a half in length in 10 days and is gaining weight steadily.

Juliet has peed and pooped on us, kept us up all night on more than one occasion, and caused me to do more laundry in 14 days than I do in a month.  And we love every single minute.

Forty Weeks (Due Today!)

Baby's size this week: I think my app is now completely useless.  It simply says, "It's hard to say for sure how your baby will be, but the average newborn weighs about 7 1/2 pounds ... and is about 20 inches long."  And all this time, it's been telling me with complete confidence exactly how big she was?!?  Pshh.  Useless!  ;)  

Latest update from the OB:  Wolverina has dropped even lower and can't go any further without actually engaging.  He said that my body is as close to delivery as it can be without actually being in labor, and both baby and I are fine.  She had the hiccups yesterday, so after checking her heartbeat and getting tickled at her hiccups, he pointed out that you could actually observe them by watching my belly jump.  That was fun, and I really appreciate him pointing that out.

Yesterday was a hard day in terms of being pregnant.  I was (and still am, of course) very, very tired.  When Dr. Dixon asked how I was, I was honest.  I told him that I was struggling because I was extremely emotional and really very uncomfortable.  And, to be honest, I was just sort of feeling overwhelmed.  I've tried pretty much every home remedy to get labor started, and none have been successful.  I am not exhibiting any signs of being closer to labor.  Dixon kindly but professionally argued that I am exhibiting more signs and pointed out that I've been having more contractions and that she's dropped as low as she can get.  He said that it's really any minute/day now.

Are you craving anything? Her arrival.

How do you feel?  Tired.  Graceless.  Uncomfortable.  Ready.

What have you crossed off your to-do list this week? Painted the letters for her nursery and everything else I can think of.  I have nothing left to get and nothing left to do except go into labor.

What's left on your to-do list? Have the baby!

How is Ray doing? I believe he might be more ready than I am for her to arrive.  He's taken to talking to her each morning and directing her to head for the South Exit.  This morning in particular, he talked to her about how great it would be if she was part of the 3% (or whatever ridiculously low percentage it is) of babies who arrive on their actual due date.

Thirty-Nine Weeks

Baby's size this week: According to the app, she is a little longer than 20 inches (but I suspect she's longer based on what I can feel of her) and weighs in at a little over 7 pounds.

Latest update from the OB:  According to yesterday's appointment with Dr. Dixon, I am 1 centimeter dilated, 70% effaced, and Wolverina is at -1 station.  (You can read more about stations here, but for quick reference, a baby floating freely is at -5 station, and a baby who is crowning is at +5 station.)  This basically means I could go into labor at any point now.  Ray and I are hoping for now as we are both ready for her to finally be here.

Additionally, because of Wolverina's station and position, Dr. Dixon said he thinks I will transition quickly.  He suggested that I'd go from having irregular contractions to regular, it's-time-to-go-to-the-hospital contractions pretty quickly.  Ray asked him if he could get that guarantee in writing, but Dixon declined.  He said that although my chances of that happening are excellent, they aren't guaranteed.  Even if he won't put it in writing, I'll take it.  That was probably the best news he gave us yesterday.

Are you craving anything? Still her arrival.  I dreamed we were home with her for the Clemson game on Saturday and that we'd dressed her in the FSU onesie that Leah gave us.  I'm hoping it was more of a premonition than a dream...

How do you feel?  Cumbersome.  Tired.  Ready.  Impatient.  Thirsty.  Uncomfortable.

What have you crossed off your to-do list this week? Organized the freezer.

What's left on your to-do list? 

1. Paint the wooden letters to hang on her wall.

How is Ray doing? He's well.  He's ready like I am and informs me each morning that "today is the day!"  On Monday, he got to feel her foot as she was trying to stretch out and make room for herself.  It is so amazing to watch him feel what I've gotten to feel, and I really love watching his reaction to her.  He really is going to be such an awesome dad!

Thirty-Eight Weeks

Baby's size this week: According to the app, she is almost 20 inches long and weighs in at 6.8 pounds.

Latest update from the OB:  Everything looks good.  My blood pressure was lower yesterday than it was at my first appointment, my weight gain is good, and the baby's heartbeat is still at 145 BPM.  At this point, measurements of my fundal height indicate that Wolverina will be weighing in somewhere in the seven pound range.  Given the large size of Handley/Nobles babies, I'm very relieved to hear this news.  Additionally, Dr. Dixon noted that Wolverina has dropped and asked me if I'd noticed a difference.  I have no doubt she's dropped because the spot under my left ribs no longer feels bruised, and it's a little bit easier to breathe.

We had a really good discussion regarding stripping membranes and the use of Pitocin.  Dr. Dixon did an excellent job of explaining what exactly stripping the membranes entailed and why he wasn't inclined to do it. He drew parallels between doing that and starting Pitocin right now.  Essentially, it boils down to this: while I am clearly at the end of my pregnancy, my body isn't ready to go into labor.  Because my body isn't ready, both would result in more discomfort for me because we'd be trying to force labor before it was time.  He went on to explain that there are other doctors in the practice who disagree with him, so he wasn't saying that it shouldn't be done.  It's just his belief that it wouldn't be helpful for me.  This further solidified my belief that Dixon is the right doctor for me.  He's a good blend of science and crunchiness, and he's very willing to explain his position, his philosophy, and the reasons behind it all.  And, he does it all in layman's terms.

Are you craving anything? I'm craving her arrival!

How do you feel?  Like a 9.5-month pregnant woman.  I'm exhausted, unwieldy, and prone to hot flashes.  The nausea is back.  I did some reading over the weekend, though, about exercises I could do to get some relief in my back and hips, and they have been quite helpful.

What have you crossed off your to-do list this week? Ironed Wolverina's coming-home outfit (which made Ray laugh a lot), packed the hospital bag, made the list of last-minute items to add to the bag before we leave the house, taped that list to the front door, and completed the ABCs of infants class.

What's left on your to-do list? 

1. Paint the wooden letters to hang on her wall.

How is Ray doing? He's doing very well.  He got a big laugh out of the baby last night.  We were sitting on the couch, and to be funny, he stuck his cold feet on my stomach.  Wolverina freaked out and kicked him really hard and started trying to squirm away from the ice blocks.  He said, "She's like her daddy!  She hates it when you put your cold feet on her!"  And so he pulled them away, waited a minute until she'd relaxed, and then put his cold feet back on my stomach just to aggravate her.  He repeated this several times, laughing each time she kicked at him.  If I wasn't laughing so hard at him laughing at her, I would have felt sorry for Wolverina.  But it is so neat to watch him interact with her at this point.

ABCs of Babies

Last night, Ray and I crossed the last must-do off of my "Before the Baby Comes" list by taking TMH's ABCs of Babies class to prepare us for basic infant care.  The class took about two hours, and Ray and I agreed that it was two hours very well spent.

There were only two other couples in the class with us.  One couple is expecting a baby boy in October, and Ray and I decided the father is from some sort of very cold Eastern European country.  His accent was fairly thick, and he was very, very concerned about the baby being too cold.  His wife asked lots of questions about how many layers the child actually needed, and he kept insisting that maybe one more layer would be good.  The other couple is expecting their baby next week, and it appears neither of them has any experience with children.  The mom asked at one point, "Do we change her for every wet diaper?"  (Ray and I are hopeful that maybe she meant "change clothes," but given the context of her question, it's doubtful.)  The course covered the basics like how to change a diaper, how to swaddle a baby, how to bathe a baby, how to burp a baby, and a plethora of other things.  Our instructor started us off with a quiz regarding terminology (which, sadly, we failed because we didn't know the medical terms for things like cradle cap), then moved to a discussion about keeping baby safe at home, and then she started a video.

This video was awesome on several levels.

• Awesome Tidbit 1: It is clear that the producers of this video didn't use actors.  They used real people with brand new babies.  These real people looked really tired, especially the moms.  
• Awesome Tidbit 2: One of the topics covered in the video was what to do when a baby won't stop crying.  It stopped short of the "NEVER shake a baby!" PSA, but I swear that I know the dad they showed in that segment.  I cannot figure out where I know him from (Ray suggested that perhaps I was reminded of Ice Cube, but I think maybe he was an assistant coach at Munroe).  
• Awesome Tidbit 3: As we were seeing real people in their homes, I got to see how different people chose to decorate their nurseries.  My personal favorite (and the favorite of the mom who's due in October) was the poster of Tupac on the wall next to the crib.  Ray and I have decided we need to get one for Wolverina's room.  I think I'm leaning towards this one:

However, a friend pointed out that if Wolverina learned gang signs before she learned English, that would be beyond awesome.  So maybe I should reconsider and find one with him throwing a West Coast sign...

After the video, we began the hands-on portion of the class. 

• Ray learned to change a diaper, and I learned that if we ever have a boy, I probably won't diaper him until his circumcision has healed (the instructor told horror stories about the diaper sticking to the healing skin).  I found the stories horrifying and think I'd rather take my changes with elimination communication.
• We also learned how to bathe a baby, and Ray agreed to be in charge of umbilical cord care.  
• We learned techniques for swaddling, and Ray pointed out that when I swaddle an actual child, I probably shouldn't lean on the baby to keep her arms down by her side.  (We were given these dolls whose arms are made to stay up by their heads, and I was practicing the arms-in swaddle.)  I think his point was fair given what I was doing, but at the same time I feel like I've got enough sense not to do that for a real baby.

Other fun facts that we learned/had confirmed for us include:

• Baby powder causes respiratory problems, so we shouldn't use it at all.
• The hospital-grade aspirator will be priceless to us, so we need to make sure we bring it home from the hospital.
• C-section babies tend to gag a lot.
• My insistence that we have no crib quilt and no bumper was the right thing because these things do contribute to SIDS.
• Insisting that people wash their hands before and use a blanket on their shoulder while holding Wolverina is good practice, not us being germ-Nazis.

Although we will probably still frantically google things regarding care of Wolverina, I have to admit that I feel much more prepared about how to keep her safe, clean, and happy after that class.  And, for a guy who's never changed a diaper, Ray was extremely adept at it.  I was very impressed with his skill, and I'm now hoping that he'll take the lead on that! :)

September 11

On my way to work this morning, I listened to a discussion about what FSU's College of Law would be doing today to commemorate 9/11/01.  In the discussion, the host of the show asked the guest (who is a preacher) if he felt it was important to talk to his children, who were not alive in 2001, about this day.

This question led me to think about our child and what I think we should tell her.  Having not discussed this with Ray, I cannot speak for him, but I feel certain that he will agree with me when I say that explaining what happened eleven years before she was born is extremely important.  Of course it's important to teach her history, and the English teacher in me feels compelled to urge her read as much as possible about it.  It was a terrible day for our nation, but it was also a day that we all laid down our differences.  I have the most distinct memory of watching the members of Congress stand together on the steps of the Capitol singing, "God Bless America."  In today's political climate, that's hard to imagine.  But in addition to those reasons, I feel it's important to teach her for a much more personal reason.

The events of September 11, 2001, are the basis for Operating Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom and, of course, the all-encompassing Global War on Terror.  As her father is a veteran of both OIF and OEF (and, therefore, GWOT), I think she should know what led to his personal decision to join the military.  And she should know the history of the conflicts in which he fought.  I will leave the discussion of his decision to join up to him as it is much more than just the events of 9/11, but I want to do my best to help her to understand why our country chose to go to war.  Naturally, as she gets older, these discussions will become more involved than just "bad guys killed many innocent Americans," and will need to include the politics of war.  I look forward, too, to her having access to many of Ray's buddies who will be able to offer her their perspectives on all of it.  These men are so alike in so many ways, but their views on the wars, the cultures, the politics, and everything else are so very different.  No pressure, Wolverina, but if you get a school assignment on this, I'm expecting an A+.  :)

Thirty-Seven Weeks

Baby's size this week: According to the app, she is more than 19 inches long and weighs in at 6 and 3/4 pounds.

Latest update from the OB:  My blood pressure is good, and the baby's heartbeat is around 145 beats per minute.

Are you craving anything? Sleep, sleep, and sleep.

How do you feel?  Not so great.  I'm completely exhausted all the time, and I hurt.  My hips hurt, my back hurts, my feel hurt, and I feel bruised on the inside from Wolverina trying to stretch out.  But I also feel very ready for her to arrive, which is pretty great. 

What have you crossed off your to-do list this week? Installed the car seat and extra base, hung curtains and blinds, put on the crib skirt, reorganized the nursery, hung pictures in the nursery, got burp cloths, finalized our birth plan, got a few more nursing tank tops to wear in the hospital, got an iPod docking station for the nursery and made sure it works well, and purchased the letters to hang on the wall opposite her bookshelf.

What's left on your to-do list? 

1. Iron coming-home outfit
2. Pack hospital bag (plan to do this tonight or tomorrow)
3. Take the ABCs of Infants class next Tuesday

How is Ray doing? Bless his heart, he's tired also.  I know I'm making sleep difficult for him with all the tossing and turning I do, not to mention the three-five times a night I get up to go to the bathroom.  He's trying so hard to be supportive of me, but I'm tired and uncomfortable.  I suspect I'm getting more difficult to live with these days, but he's not saying so.  He is a good, good man.

The Nursery

This weekend, we finally put the finishing touches on the nursery.  There are still a couple of minor things to attend to (like replacing the outlets so they're white, not cream), but, at this point, the nursery is completely ready for Wolverina's arrival in terms of set-up and supplies.

Ray hung the blinds we got to ensure that we could sufficiently block the afternoon sun coming in Wolverina's window.  Even though the curtains are lined, we felt like we needed blinds because the sun coming in is very, very bright.

Ninja likes to hang out in the nursery when we're in there.  I think she's a little confused by it all, but she smells all the new stuff when we're in there working.  And then, if we're in there too long to suit her, she'll flop down in the middle of the room and heave a great sigh of disappointment that we're not all outside with a tennis ball.  Her world is about to change so much, but Ray and I are both convinced that she's going to be great with the baby.  She's so sweet and so patient with everyone, including our niece, Holland.

The blinds are up, and the curtain is hung!  This is what it'll look like for nap time.  (Also, note the giant tower of diapers.  We also have diapers hidden under the crib.  I have no doubt we'll need them, but I think we'll probably end up having to exchange some of the sizes.)

 I took all these pictures with my cell phone, so you can't really see the cute detail of the tie-back.  It's got a cute flower made out of the animal pattern Aunt Stacey used for the crib skirt.  And now that I'm posting this blog, I also realize I didn't get a good shot of the crib skirt.  It's got box pleats and a cute horizontal gray stripe (matching the vertical stripe on the right side of the curtains and the tie-backs) that's hidden by the bottom rail of the crib.  However, when we raise her mattress, you should be able to see the stripe with no problem.

Our changing table is attached to the crib and all ready to go with supplies.  You can't see it, but between the changing table and the wall, we've put a laundry hamper and the diaper genie.

My cell phone picture really doesn't do this justice.  Ray did a phenomenal job with the dresser, and it's packed to the brim with clothes, blankets, washcloths, and towels.  The pink basket on top holds all the bath soaps and lotions (and a set of bath time letters from Sarah and Allison that we'll begin using with her the second she's old enough to start learning).  The milk glass belonged to Ray's grandmother, and I plan to eventually put something cute in it.  For now, it holds a pad of paper and a pencil so that I can make lists of things I need to get for the baby.  Next to that are the pink humidifier and a small white lamp (that I should have turned off for pictures).

This is our solution to the closet door opening into the room and really limiting space.  Aunt Stacey and I made this curtain to hang over the entry to the closet.  The box next to the glider is one of those things we still need to take care of.  It's a bunch of pictures we're not sure what to do with, so they've just been stuck in the nursery because it's been our holding room since we moved.  However, with the baby on the way, we need to make a decision and get that box out of there.

Last picture.  This bookshelf was not part of our original nursery plan.  However, when the family baby shower left us with a library of books for her, we made the necessary change.  I think I may rearrange the bottom shelf, but it works for now.  The pink canvas baskets are perfect for holding the toys we've been given that she'll have to grow into.  The kettle bell belongs to a member of our gym, who loaned it to me to use during session because my schedule was such that I couldn't get to the gym.  I should probably return it to her, but it makes such a great door stop.  And it gives Wolverina a chance to learn about kettle bells before we get her doing CrossFit Kids!

I know you can't really tell what the picture on the wall above the bookshelf is, but it's one of my favorite things in the nursery.  Adrianne made it for me (per my request) because she's much better with graphic arts than I am.  It simply says, "I love you a bushel and a peck & a hug around the neck."  Granny Squeaky used to say this to us grandchildren all the time when we were little, so hanging this in the nursery was a way for me to include her.  I gave a matching picture (except that it's navy blue for the University of North Florida) to Rachel to hang in her dorm room.  It feels good to tie us all together.

Not pictured: the wall opposite the bookshelf.  This wall is pretty much  unused because of the way the glider is positioned, but it's a large, blank wall.  I'm going to hang wooden letters similar to this to spell out her first name.  However, because we aren't revealing her name until after she arrives, this will need to be done post-birth.  I have a feeling I'm not going to really feel up to being crafty at that point, so I plan to get the letters painted and ready to go before she comes, and hopefully, some handy helper will volunteer to take care of that... Any volunteers?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?

Thirty-Six Weeks (Also known as Nine Months!)

Baby's size this week: According to the app, she is more than 18 and a 1/2 inches long and weighs around 6 pounds.

Latest update from the OB:  No appointment this week.  Next Tuesday begins the weekly meetings.

Are you craving anything? Sleep and feet and hands that are not swollen

How do you feel?  Tired.  I slept pretty well, but I am so tired.  And by the time I get home in the afternoons, I simply have no energy left to do things like laundry or cook

What have you crossed off your to-do list this week? I helped Aunt Stacey finish the curtains and pillow.  By the time I'd gotten to Atlanta, she had already finished the crib skirt.  I also got the car cleaned very well so that it's ready to have the car seat installed.

What's left on your to-do list? 

1. Iron coming-home outfit
2. Install car seat
3. Pack hospital bag
4. Hang pictures in nursery
5. Get burp cloths
6. Get blinds for window
7. Hang blinds and curtains
8. Put on crib skirt

How is Ray doing? Very well.  I'm sort of anxious for him to get home.  I know I've gotten a lot bigger since he left, and I think he'll be surprised.  He said he was excited to see the changes and also really excited that Wolverina's arrival is getting so close.

Confession

I realized yesterday that I have become an angry pregnant woman.  Up until this point in the pregnancy, I haven't really been angry.  I've cried pretty much every other day over something ridiculous, but I've not been angry.  And this week, I feel like I could just throw a serious temper tantrum.  Here is a sampling of the things that have made me ready to riot:

1. Saying Thoughtless Things to a Pregnant Woman
1. Example One:  I was walking from the Capitol to the Senate Office Building when I heard someone behind me call my name.  I stopped and turned to see one of the guys from the Sergeant's office.  He said, "I thought that was you by the way you were walking, and I just wanted to be sure.  You're walking like you're carrying a heavy load."  Really?  Was that necessary to say to me?  He might as well have said, "I knew it was you because you're waddling."  Thanks for that, guy.  You know, I know I'm not the most graceful person at this point, but was it necessary to point that out?
2. Example Two: I went to get a pedicure, and when the tech sat down to begin working, he said, "Wow, swollen feet, huh?"  Again, is it necessary to point this out to me?  As I cannot fit my feet into anything other than flip-flops at this point, it's pretty obvious to me that my feet are, indeed, swollen.  Thanks for making me feel even more self-conscious about my Hobbit feet.
2. Purple is the Color for Fall
1. First of all, I am not a fan of the color purple (the actual color, not The Color Purple or "The Color Purple").  And yet, it appears to be in every women's clothing store I walk past in the mall.  It's the trendy thing to be wearing.  And while I appreciate that Motherhood Maternity is trying to stay with the trends while providing pregnant women with things to wear, I wanted to scream when I saw how much purple they were pushing.  I mean, really, people.  I will be nine months pregnant next month.  Do you honestly think that wearing purple is going to do anything for me except make me look like Barney: 

or Grimace:





3. The Non-Existence of FSU Maternity Tee-shirts
1. Garnet and Gold doesn't have them.
2. Bill's and the Bookstore don't have them.
3. Of those three FSU-apparel stores, only www.garnetandgold.com has a maternity shirt, and it looks like a scrub top and is more than $30.
4. When I googled for other places that might carry such items, I found only www.footballfanatics.com (which carried one shirt that was clearly for a baby boy) and www.cafepress.com (which carried shirts about "garnet speartinis" and "Xavier is our Savior"). I just want a plain, normal FSU shirt that is a maternity shirt.
5. On my quest to find an FSU maternity shirt, I had to listen to a worker at Bill's suggest that I could just wear an XXL.  Um, I'm pregnant.  That doesn't mean that buying a bigger size will work.  Why don't people understand that?

Okay, so, yes.  All of these things are pretty trivial.  I know that.  I even know it in the moments I am most frustrated or angry.  And yet, I am still thoroughly irritated.  I'm going to make my own FSU maternity shirt, I'm refusing to wear purple, and I'm going to try to buy some compression socks today.  Hopefully, that will help get me through this last month! :) 

Thirty-Five Weeks

At this point in the pregnancy, Wolverina is pretty much done developing.  According to both my OB and my pregnancy app, really the only thing left for her to do at this point is put on weight and grow some more.  For this reason, I'm going to change the format of my weekly update posts.

Baby's size this week: According to the app, she is over 18 inches long and weighs in at 5 1/4 - 5 1/2 pounds.

Latest update from the OB:  My blood pressure and protein levels are both good.  Wolverina is in the correct position (head down), and she doesn't really have enough room to change positions.  I explained to him that I was concerned that she was transverse on Sunday because I felt a solid lump on either side of my stomach.  Dr. Dixon helped me feel her head and shoulders, then had me feel her abdomen and bottom, and then her legs and feet.  He explained that because of her location, what I felt was more likely her stretching her legs all the way across my body.  That was a pretty big relief.

Also, in addition to being head-down, her head is way down.  I was really surprised to learn that the pressure I've been feeling on my right hip bone is not her head, but it is actually her shoulders.  Her head is on my cervix.  But, I'm not dilated or effaced, so she should be content in there for a little while longer.

Although I have really liked Dr. Dixon from our first appointment, I found yet another reason to like him at the appointment yesterday.  He was about 15 minutes late getting into the exam room with me, but the nurses had explained that he'd been called in to assist with a c-section.  When he got to me, he apologized for being late and then explained that he'd gone to the Cesarean because it was his patient.  At the end of the appointment, he explained that he really likes to be there for the birth if it was at all possible, even if he isn't the doctor on call.  He gave me an Rx slip instructing staff to page him when I went into labor, and he asked me to give it to the staff when we checked in to the hospital.

Are you craving anything? Sleep?  I am sleeping okay, but I'm tired all the time.  I could take a nap right now.

How do you feel?  I feel much better today than I did over the weekend at the beginning of this week.  Short of being very tired and a little unwieldy feeling, I feel pretty good.

What have you crossed off your to-do list this week? Washed all crib sheets and put them on the mattress using this time-saving technique in the event Wolverina has an accident, washed the Boppy cover, and washed the outfit we'll bring her home in.

What's left on your to-do list? 

1. Help Aunt Stacey make the crib skirt, curtains, and pillow for the glider
2. Iron coming-home outfit
3. Have car detailed
4. Install car seat
5. Pack hospital bag
6. Hang pictures in nursery
7. Get burp cloths

How is Ray doing? He is doing very well, but I think that when I explained to him that she was very much head-down and that from this point on, we're just waiting on my water to break and/or contractions to be five minutes apart and increasing in intensity each hour... Well, he asked if he needed to come home from his training immediately.  I assured him that everything was fine, but I think that news made him realize that she's coming soon.  I get it.  Hearing that from Dr. Dixon was sort of a shock.  But, it's also a good shock.  It feels nice to know that there's very little to worry about at this point. :)

Thirty-Four Weeks

This week: According to the pregnancy app on my phone, Wolverine Baby is almost 18 inches long and weighs probably 4.75 pounds. Based on her knees under my ribs and other body parts of hers that seem to be poking out, I would guess that she's going to be a very long baby.  18 inches seems a little short... :)

Development: This week, she's putting on layers of fat, and her central nervous system and lungs are continuing to develop.  And now, her eyes are open while she's awake (and closed while she's asleep).

Are you craving anything? Water.  I'm thirsty all the time.

Is there any food that turns you off? Spicy foods.

How do you feel? So, so tired.  Also, I feel heavy, swollen, and grace-less.

How is your sleep? Not great.  It's hard to get comfortable.  And once I get comfortable, I have to get up to use the bathroom.

Most surprising thing you've noticed or experienced: How when I try to take a very deep breath or when I slouch to reach something at my feet while sitting, her little knee bones crunch against my ribs.  It hurts, and it's kind of scary because I'm worried that I've hurt her.

Something you're surprised you haven't noticed or experienced: More discernible body parts of hers. People keep telling me about feeling or seeing hands or feet.  So far, it all just seems like lumps of different sizes.

Favorite/most comfortable article of clothing: Anything that fits.

How is Ray doing? He is good but very busy with work.

Thirty-Three Weeks

This week: Wolverine Baby is a little over 17 inches long and weighs more than 4 pounds. We had an ultrasound on Friday, and at that point, she was 4.3 pounds.  At this point in the pregnancy, she is rapidly putting on weight and continuing to grow.

Development: Wolverina's skeleton is hardening, and her lungs are finishing up their development.  Our ultrasound showed that she's got a head full of hair, which makes perfect sense given my heartburn and reflux.  What I thought was her feet in my ribs are actually her knees - she's so long that she's folded her legs.  And when I thought she was kicking my hips?  Nope.  That was her head.

Are you craving anything? Water.  I'm thirsty all the time.

Is there any food that turns you off? Spicy foods.

How do you feel? It's been a rough several days.  Lots of Braxton Hicks contractions that are increasing in intensity, and she's moving around a lot.  While I love it when she moves, sometimes, she seems to be doing her best to push her way through my skin.  It's very hard to get comfortable, and I'm exhausted.  But all of this is normal, so yay!

How is your sleep? My sleep is fine, but Ray says I'm snoring a lot.  I don't doubt it - my nose is very stuffy.

Most surprising thing you've noticed or experienced: I think the drastic changes in how I feel this week are pretty surprising.  I would say the shift is dramatic.

Something you're surprised you haven't noticed or experienced: Nope.

Favorite/most comfortable article of clothing: Anything that fits.

How is Ray doing? Pretty well considering he's not getting much sleep.

Thirty-Two Weeks

This week: Wolverine Baby is about 16.75 inches long and weighs 3.75 pounds. That's about the size of a large jicama.  

Development: At this point, Wolverina has toenails, fingernails, and real hair (at least peach fuzz).  At our last doctor's appointment two weeks ago, Dr. Dixon noted that she was head-down.  Based on the feet I feel wedged under my left rib cage frequently, I'd have to agree.

Are you craving anything? Ice cream.

Is there any food that turns you off? Spicy foods.

How do you feel? Cumbersome.

How is your sleep? It is okay.  Sometimes, it's wonderful.  Other nights, I toss and turn all night long.

Most surprising thing you've noticed or experienced: Yesterday, I had a complete stranger tell me she hoped my baby was healthy and that my labor was easy.  All other strangers wish me luck getting through summer while huge or tell me how great having a kid will be (except for that one guy who told me it was a terrible mistake).  This woman was actually concerned about the health of my child and my ease of labor.

Something you're surprised you haven't noticed or experienced: Nope.

Favorite/most comfortable article of clothing: Anything that fits.

How is Ray doing? Fantastic as always. 

On Nesting

Several months ago, Ray and I were in Tampa for a wedding and we had dinner with our friends, Austin and Katrina.  They brought their baby girl, Zoey, with them to dinner, and we talked about pregnancy and children.  As we were standing to say good-bye, Katrina said, "By the way, nesting is real!"  While I had no doubt she was right, I think I underestimated what it would be like in our house.

The nesting urge comes and goes with me.  There are days when I'm totally calm about everything, but there are days and moments, too, when I completely freak out.  This nesting instinct has lead me to:

• Have a meltdown over not having a nursery furniture plan
• Have a mild panic attack over how filthy our house was
• Spend an hour on my hands and knees vacuuming under all of our furniture
• Consider making our beloved Ninja an outside dog (only for about 30 seconds, though)
• Insist that we put the crib together tonight
• Wash every stitch of clothing we have for Wolverina (including all towels, blankets, and washcloths) in one afternoon marathon
• Subsequently fold and organize all clothing by size and type and store in different bins in her dresser drawer
• Spend countless hours pouring over our list of must-haves before the baby arrives and searching online to find the lowest possible price for each of these items
• Double-up on all supper recipes so that we can eat one dish for supper and Food-Saver the extras to ensure we have a freezer full of meals when Wolverina arrives (I've been able to freeze about 12 nights' suppers in just three cooking sessions in the evenings after work!)

Ray has been rather patient with me through all of this.  He has helped when he could and stayed out of my way when he couldn't.  But, I had an epiphany on Sunday about him.  While I was washing my fifth load of baby clothes, drying the fourth, and folding the third, I decided to take a quick break.  I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water, and Ray was in there polishing the sink with some sort of rubbing compound.  He'd decided Sunday morning that we "needed" to replace the kitchen faucet, so we went to Home Depot and picked out a reasonable replacement.  We came home, and he immediately began replacing the faucet.  But when he finished the installation, he decided that the sink needed to be polished.  So for the next hour, he used a nice variety of cleaning products and polishers trying to get our sink spotless.  I admit, it looks awesome.  But this got me thinking.

I recognized on his face the same expression I think I must have when I become obsessed with doing something right-this-very-second-because-if-we-don't-do-it-now-it'll-never-happen-and-it-has-to-be-done-before-the-baby-comes. Rather than point this out to him, I just gave him a hug and thanked him for his hard work.  I realized, too, that his work on the dresser, his installation of new lighting and fans, and even his organizing of the filing cabinet are all his version of nesting.  He clearly has a list in his head of things we have to do (or things he has to do) before Wolverina arrives, and he's working diligently to get them done.  Perhaps he handles the emotional aspect of it all better than I.  Perhaps he doesn't even realize what he's doing and just thinks it's another project he's working on.  But he's totally nesting just like I am.  And this makes me love him that much more.