Dear ARH,
Today, I am 28 weeks pregnant with you. Lately, I have been thinking about how different things have been for our family, and I have wanted to find the time to sit down and write you a letter. Your older sister will have a ridiculously complete chronicle of my pregnancy with her, and you will not. The lack of a chronicle is in no way a reflection of how much your daddy I want you or are looking forward to your arrival. Our lives are simply so vastly different than they were two years ago. This time around, we have a toddler (your big sister whose nickname these days is "Monster"), and I am working a job that keeps me very busy. While I love my job, I do miss working at a place where I had the free time to sit and write like I did with Juliet. I hope this letter to you will help you know what it was like while your daddy and I waited on you to come.
How I Feel
This pregnancy has, in a lot of ways, been harder than when I was pregnant with Juliet. I was nauseated just like before, but the nausea has hung around. At twenty weeks, I began vomiting a couple of mornings each week. Although the vomiting seems to have subsided, I do still get nauseated (as recently as yesterday morning, in fact). My skin is extremely dry, and I have some issues with bleeding in my nose. These are new side effects for me. But, a positive difference is that I don't seem to struggle with heartburn quite as badly this time around, so thanks!
What You Are Like
You are a very, very, very active baby. You throw dance parties frequently, especially if I lie on my side. Your kicks are very strong and have been visibly moving my stomach for a while now. In fact, more than a month ago, Juliet was snuggled up next to me on the couch and was resting her head on my belly. You began kicking so hard that her little head literally bounced with every kick. She didn't seem to notice, though, and I thought it was pretty amazing to see you interacting with her already. And speaking of you interacting with your sister... You do not seem to like it when I hold her. I can pretty much guarantee that I want to feel a hard, painful kick just to make sure you're still okay in there, I can just pick Juliet up. When I hold her to me, you do everything you can to make your presence known. I love this spirit of yours (even though it has, on more than one occasion, taken my breath away or caused me to swear)!
Your Name
Your daddy and I have had quite a difficult time choosing a name for you. We simply could not agree. The main issue was your daddy's insistence on naming you ridiculous things and my unwillingness to allow it. For example, he tried to convince me to name you Kimber because he "thought it was really pretty." I explained that Kimber was no good because it was like we were going to name you Kimberly but just got lazy. Furthermore, Kimber sounds kind of like a stripper's name (no offense to any future friends named Kimber you may have), and I could just hear kids teasing you by saying, "Kiiimmmmmbeeerrrrr!" like a tree cutter or something. Your father told me I was being ridiculous, but I stood my ground. And do you know what I found out later? Kimber is the name of a gun manufacturer. Seriously, your daddy wanted to name you after a company that makes guns. Not. Happening.
After the Kimber debacle, we continued to go back and forth on names. I threw out names I liked, and he vetoed them all. He threw out names he liked, and I vetoed most of them. He's suggested one that I wasn't vehemently opposed to, Piper, but it just didn't feel right to me. So last weekend, I told him that I felt like it was important for your name to have significance because Juliet's name was so meaningful. This seemed to make sense to him, so we began working on a plan for a name for you that was as meaningful as your sister's. A couple of hours later, we'd finally agreed on your name, which we will reveal to everyone after you're born. For now, we'll just let everyone know that your initials will be ARH. You'll have my first initial and your daddy's second initial. We're still not totally settled on what to call you. Daddy says first name. I like middle name, but first name could be okay, too. I'm not sure it's a battle I really want to fight because I like both names very much. I jokingly told him we could call you AR-15 since he seemed to want to name you after a gun, but he didn't seem to find that nearly as funny as I did. (I promise I won't let people call you AR-15, baby girl.)
Your Arrival
You are due August 17, 2014. Your daddy is scheduled to deploy two weeks after you come. The Army was kind enough to give him "birth + two weeks" as his deployment date. I am very worried and a little scared about how I will manage without him. You are so lucky to have him for your dad because he is very involved and is a huge help. I am sure we will be fine, though, as we have an excellent support system of family and friends. And I read something a couple of days ago that I thought was very interesting: "stress is a lack of trust." My stressing about what things will be like when you come is a lack of trust. It's a lack of trust in my own ability to manage, it's a lack of trust in those who support our family, and it's a lack of trust in God to take care of us. I haven't quite managed to get to where I'm stress-free about it all, but it's something that I'm working on.
Dr. Dixon is the D.O. who will be delivering you, and he also delivered Juliet. I hope that when you are old enough, you find a doctor who is as good as he is. He is the perfect combination of Western medicine and crunchy "listen-to-your-body" kind of stuff.
Along the same lines as "crunchy," you might find this interesting. I have had a very difficult time with you because you don't seem to think there's enough room in there for you. For more than a week, you had your foot lodged under my left ribs, and it was very painful. Additionally, you were doing a lot of other things that made me very uncomfortable, which made me tense, which seemed to exacerbate the Braxton Hicks contractions. The BH only seemed to make you mad because when my belly would be contracting, you'd be in there throwing punches and karate kicks. Out of sheer desperation, I went online to spinningbabies.com and read up on some natural theories regarding baby positioning and all sorts of things like that. I learned a lot and decided that I'd give it a shot - really, I'd do just about anything so that we can live comfortably together for the next three months. I'm amazed at the difference it's made. I can tell you're not hanging out on your back as much (you're more on your side), and your kicks are now just fun instead of very painful. I still feel cumbersome because of my belly, but I feel like you're happy inside, and I've really been enjoying your movements these days. This morning, you were kicking pretty good on the right side, and your daddy was able to feel and to see. He asked if it hurt, and I was so happy to say, "Nope. It's all good right now."
I will try to do a little more writing for you before you get here. There really is so much to tell you about your nursery and the sprinkle some amazing women are throwing for us and about all the wonderful people who can't wait to see you. In the meantime, know that your daddy and I already love you to pieces, and we are so happy to have you.
Love you, baby girl!
Mama
