What is Wrong with Children's Programming??

This morning, my friend Katherine was discussing children's music and programming with me while we were eating breakfast.  Katherine's boyfriend has a nine-year-old daughter, so Katherine is getting a lot of exposure to both children's music and programming these days.   She was expressing her frustration with both, and shared examples with me.

First, she sent me this song, which apparently plays on a Sirius children's music channel frequently:

36 seconds, people.  That's all I could take of this.  Perhaps I am jaded about children's music because as a child, I learned lots of songs about passing gas (and killing people with it) from Aunt Betsy.  Maybe those songs about passing terrible smelling gas makes me less tolerant of songs where monsters are having identity crises.  But, seriously, why is this monster song on the radio?  And they made a whole video for it?  I can handle some of Hannah Montana's music (see "Hoedown Throwdown," thanks to Rachel, June, and Allison at cheer camp/practice), and I've seen all three "High School Musical" movies and was able to get through them (thank you, June and Allison on the Junior Trip) without once wanting to hurt myself or others.  The songs from these things, while terribly cheesy, are tolerable.  They tend to be catchy and maybe not necessarily deep, but far better than "I think I'm a bunny."

Then Katherine sent me this from "Yo Gabba Gabba."

I was able to make it all the way through this video, but it still made me feel like hurting someone.  I get that it's supposed to get children to want to eat healthy foods.  But why do I feel like the characters in this show might all be on crystal meth?  Sure, Snuffleupagus might have been on some downers, but at least he was relaxed.  Who wants to get their kid all jacked up from watching a show about eating good foods?  I feel like Wolverina would watch this and then run into the kitchen screaming, dancing, and waving her arms around while asking me for some carrots.

Of the current children's programming out there, I think I can handle "Blue's Clues" and "Dora the Explorer" fairly well.  As much as I hated watching Barney when I babysat Rachel, I find him preferable to these Yo Gabba Gabba creatures.

To make myself feel better and to remind myself that there is good children's programming available (even if it's just on youtube), I went and found this video from my childhood:

While I think Grover and the rest of his Sesame Street pals may have, indeed, been on some drugs, I think they're far better drugs than the bath salts today's characters are clearly snorting.

One last video to share.  Adrianne, who sadly is a big fan of "Yo Gabba Gabba" and is therefore proof that childbirth ruins your judgement in quality children's programming, sent me this Mr. Rogers remix. 

Mr Rogers + Autotune?  How could it be wrong?