Look Up, Look Down, Look All Around

Dear Juliet,

Today, I lost a dear friend and teacher.  The day after you were born, Cheryl Snipes Smith (also known as "Miss Cheryl") found out that her cancer had returned.  She'd already beaten it twice, but as some cancers are prone to do, hers returned with a vengeance.  Miss Cheryl was a really funny - and slightly crazy - lady who taught me so much.  I had her as a teacher when I was in middle and high school.  Then, when I began teaching, she was my coworker.  Over my eight years of teaching, she also became one of my mentors and a very good friend.  She taught me so many valuable lessons, many of them outside the classroom.  I thought I should take the time tonight to remember the most important lessons she taught me and write them down.  I want to make sure I remember them, and I hope that I can teach you as effectively as she taught me.

Lesson 1: Sometimes, the little things really do make all the difference.
Take the time to say kind things to people and be genuine about it.  The two seconds it takes you to give someone a real smile and let her know you're glad to see her can have a tremendous impact.  So slow down and show kindness.

Lesson 2: "Think outside the box."
This is now, unfortunately, a cliche.  However, when Miss Cheryl said it to her students, she was urging us all to find our "A+ answer."  Don't just give the easy answer - be creative.  Think deeply.  Look at the question another way.  Find answers and solutions that are innovative.  Don't settle for the easy way out. By thinking outside the box, you'll set yourself apart from the pack.  You'll get the job.  You'll get the raise. 

Lesson 3: It's okay to say no.
I don't know if it's people, women, Southern women, or small town women... but it seems that a lot of us have a hard time telling others no.  Cheryl taught me this lesson when we were teaching together.  It's okay to say no to teaching an extra class for no extra money.  It's okay to say no when you're asked to take on your fifth extra curricular activity.  It's okay to say no to people in order to take care of yourself.

Lesson 4: Take care of yourself.
Take time off from work to recover.  Take time to do something that rejuvenates your mind and spirit.  Take care of yourself because if you don't, you won't be of any use to anyone because you'll simply be too tired and worn down to do anything well.

Lesson 5:  Don't be afraid.
There are so many times she taught this lesson that I can't recall them all.  However, I think the ones that stand out most in my mind are about taking risks.  Don't be afraid to try to speak another language, even if you know you can't do it well.  Chances are the person you're trying to communicate with will appreciate your effort and work harder to help you.  Don't be afraid to leave home.  Travel the world (or the country or the state) and absorb as much as you can.  You can always come home, and chances are, you'll appreciate home that much more.  Don't be afraid to chase your dreams.  You might fail, but it's better to have taken the chance than to spend your life doing something you don't enjoy and wondering "What if..."
 
Lesson 6: Be grateful.
Miss Cheryl kept a gratitude journal for a while, and every day she would write the things she was thankful for.  It helped her keep perspective and focus on the positive things in her life when she was struggling to see them.  It's easy to get distracted by the things that aren't going right and lose sight of our countless blessings.  If you find yourself struggling, start counting your blessings.

Lesson 7: Read.  And write, too.
Read books, magazines, maps, road signs, blogs, and menus.  Read read read.  Read good stuff that will teach you things, but read trash (or what I call "brain candy"), too, just to laugh.  Write letters, journal entries, notes to yourself, blogs, and lists.  Miss Cheryl was always writing in large, bold print.  (She had really distinctive handwriting, too.  I wish I had a sample.)

Lesson 8: Be a perpetual student.
You will never know it all.  Spend your life learning new things - random facts, humanities, new skills - and your mind will always stay sharp.  That's where the title of this entry comes from, by the way.  She chaperoned the eighth grade trip to Washington, D.C., for years (decades maybe - seriously, it was a long time), and she always told her students to "look up, look down, look all around" because there are lessons and facts to be learned everywhere, not just right in front of your face.

She taught these lessons and countless others.  She raised two beautiful, independent daughters whom she was incredibly proud of for a variety of reasons.  And she made a really delicious peanut butter icing that she put on cupcakes for my birthday one year.  I'm sorry you won't have the opportunity to know her well, but I am so grateful for her impact on my life.

Love,
Mama