This Face

As I've stated in a previous post, being a big sister is hard.  Juliet is not getting the one-on-one attention that she used to get.  Most of the time, she handles it with grace and love, literally coming next to me to cover her sister in kisses.

But sometimes, and it's usually in the evenings when she's tired from a long day at school, Juliet does not handle it well.  Anna, although not as bad as Juliet, does seem to suffer during The Witching Hour.  And if she's suffering, rest assured that we're all suffering.  I'm suffering as Anna screams her head off and refuses to be consoled.  Juliet's suffering as I try to calm Anna and am unable to get Juliet cheese, take her outside, help her potty, or read her books.  Ninja's suffering while I work with Anna right past Ninja's 6:00 p.m. dinner time.  And even poor Filch is suffering because the combined crying of Anna and Juliet (and sometimes me) is too much for his kitty ears, especially given his PTSD.

I get frustrated with Juliet sometimes because she wants me to hold her or get her things or to have me let her hold Anna... all while Anna is screaming at top volume.  (I think I forgot to mention that sweet Anna has found her lungs and can now scream as loudly as her sister used to.  In fact, our neighbor actually heard Anna screaming yesterday morning - even though the neighbor was at the street and Anna was in her carrier in the kitchen.)  And then, when I'm frustrated, Juliet will sometimes throw a tantrum, which only exacerbates my frustration.  These moments are very, very hard and make me miss Ray more than usual.  His help and his pep talks would go a long way during The Witching Hour. 

In the end, though, I always manage to get Anna down (even if it takes two and a half hours).  And once she's down, I can give Juliet the attention she wants and needs.  When the house is calm after that storm, I am frequently just amazed at Juliet.  She reverts into the sweet child we know and love, reading books and laughing and snuggling.  A few nights ago, after a particularly rough time with Anna, I decided to treat myself to a chocolate pudding, and I asked Juliet if she wanted to share.  We really don't give her sweets, so this would be a huge treat for her.  She sat next to me on the couch and shared a Jell-O pudding cup that was delicious and perfect.  Of course, she ended up with chocolate all over her face.  But since she's almost two, she was not concerned and ran to get Corduroy, one of her current favorites.  Since I was drawing her bath, she decided she'd just sit in the hall outside the bathroom and read to herself until I was ready to snag her and toss her in the tub.  I love to watch her read independently (it's likely the English teacher in me - I can't seem to squash her) and grabbed my phone to get a picture.  She looked up and gave me a huge grin, and in that moment, all of the frustration, stress, anxiety, and sadness just left.  How can you not feel better about everything when you see that face?

If I can get that face from Juliet and Anna's smiles in the same day, I think I may have what it takes to bring peace to the Middle East.  With those two smiling at you, you feel like all is right with the world. 

Chunky Monkey

Anna

Somewhere, I have a picture of Juliet that looks very similar to this one... Turtle towel and chubby cheeks.  I need to find it and do a comparison, but I took this picture last week when I was marveling at Anna's weight gain.  It's extremely obvious in her cheeks and in her arms and legs.  I'm exclusively breastfeeding Anna, the same thing I did for Juliet, so it feels very good to see my child growing.

It is especially rewarding given how Anna eats.  Juliet ate every three hours.  You could set your watch by it.  Anna, on the other hand, eats all. the. time.  It seems that at least once a week, Anna goes into growth spurt mode and eats every 30 minutes - 2 hours.  This is extremely hard on a mom who is used to a three-hour baby.  It's also hard in the middle of the night when I'm up and down getting her from her crib, feeding and changing her, and putting her back down.  But when I look at her growing body (and, of course, in the days after the marathon feeds when she sleeps for 4-5 hours at night), it's totally worth it.

As of today, Anna is six weeks old.  I spent an hour this afternoon going through her dresser and closet.  I was pulling out all of the clothes in Newborn and 0 - 3 months sizes because Anna can no longer fit in them.  I opened the giant Space Saver bag of 3 - 6 months sized clothes and marveled at the fact that my six week-old daughter is wearing clothes someone twice her age (or older!) wears. 

Side note: I also thanked God for Elizabeth, Adrianne, and Melissa.  Those three have pretty much set it up so that we've not had to buy clothes for either of our kids because they give us their hand-me-downs.  And one of the great things about hand-me-downs for kids this small is that they're all in really good shape, even though some of the clothes have been worn by four other girls (Ella, Ava, Holland and Juliet on Liz's side and Addison, Anna S., Juliet, and Sophie on the Wimberley sisters' side).  It's really neat to pull out things I remember Juliet wearing, and I'm so glad to have the opportunity to pass things along to Ray's cousin, Katie, who is expecting a girl in February.

Anna is starting to smile in response to me, and that's pretty amazing.  I'd forgotten how awesome it is when your child actually smiles at you and not gas.  I love this happy, chubby face!

Bath Time

We are fortunate that both of our girl like baths.  I hear horror stories from friends whose children fight baths and scream the entire time they're in the tub.  Juliet has loved baths from the time she was a tiny baby and has only screamed through baths as a side effect of something else that had upset her toddler world.  Anna appears to be much like her older sister when it comes to bath time.  She happily kicks and waves her arms and has never given any indication that she didn't enjoy the bath tub.

Last week, Anna had an accident that warranted a bath first thing in the morning.  So I started running the water, and Juliet came tearing into the bathroom to help.  She likes to stand next to me as I bathe Anna, lean into the tub, and splash as much water around as possible.  I got Anna into her seat and began bathing her when I noticed Juliet was not splashing.  Instead, she was trying her best to get undressed.  I asked her what she was doing, and she said, "Bath time."  Since I didn't feel like dealing with a meltdown and because an extra bath never hurt anyone, I decided to let her join Anna in the tub.  I stripped her down and plopped her in the tub next to her sister, and Juliet promptly began naming all of the body parts she knows.  ("Baby head.  Baby toes.  Baby knee.  Baby eyes.  Baby ear.  Baby nose."  And so on and so on.)  She likes to touch the body parts as she names them, so in an effort to keep her from gouging Anna's eyes out, I told her I wanted to get a picture.  (Juliet is a ham and loves the camera.)  It took a couple of takes, but I finally got a decent shot of the two of them together.

I love this picture of their very first shared bath.  Of course it's wonderfully sentimental as I imagine they'll have lots of baths together in the future, but I also love it for another reason.  I love that Juliet looks all happy and excited, and Anna looks like she's thinking, "I'm not sure about this kid behind me.  I think she might try to drown me..."  Anna is excellent at giving her sister the stink eye already.  I can't wait to watch them grow together!

"My Bike"

For Juliet's first birthday, we got her a little red wagon.  She loved it so very much, so we wanted to do something similar for her second birthday.  After a little bit of pondering, we decided to get her a tricycle. Because Juliet will officially turn two while Ray is gone, we chose to give the tricycle to her early.  I wanted to just buy it and surprise her, but Ray insisted that we take her to the store to properly fit her with the appropriately-sized trike.  (I'm still not convinced that tricycles really have different sizes like bikes, but that's not a battle that was worth fighting.)

So we loaded up Anna, picked Juliet up from school a little early, and headed to Toys R Us to pick out the perfect tricycle.  I posted on Facebook that this was a rookie mistake, and that is an understatement.  Upon entering the store, Juliet wanted to play with every single toy we passed.  Thankfully, she didn't want to take each one home, but she definitely wanted to play with each one.  That, of course, meant that the 200-yard walk to the rear of the store took quite a while.  After ten short minutes in the store, Anna lost her baby mind and began screaming to be fed.  I tried to stall for as long as I could, but that wasn't very long.  I finally just had to leave Ray and Juliet with the tricycles and head out to the car to feed Anna. 

As I was finishing up feeding Anna, Juliet and Ray came out of the store with her brand new, shiny, pink Radio Flyer tricycle.  She was on the trike, and he was pushing her, and it was just this amazing, perfect scene - truly, something Andy Warhol might have painted.  Our angelic first daughter with her proud father, bonding over a classic toy.  They got to the car, and Ray asked Juliet to get off the tricycle so that we could go home with her brand new tricycle.

And then all hell broke loose.  Our toddler lost her mind and began screaming and crying, "My bike! My bike! My bike!"  Ray tried to reason with her, explaining that the bike was coming with us, that she could ride it as much as she wanted as soon as we got home, that it was - indeed - hers.  Her tantrum was one of epic proportions.  (To be honest, I've only seen her throw one more tantrum like that, and I still have a little PTSD from that four-hour ordeal.)  She was absolutely inconsolable, and no amount of explaining or reassuring seemed to make a difference.  Ray got frustrated.  I got frustrated.  Juliet continued to scream.  In the middle of the parking lot.  Like a maniac.  Finally, I said, "That is enough!" and jumped out to see if I could make a difference.  Ray cautioned me, "There are probably cameras all over this parking lot."  (I was reminded of an amazing story my friend Susie tells about an episode she had with her oldest daughter in the parking lot of Quincy's Wal-Mart wherein Susie talks about how glad she is that there were not cameras in parking lots then.) 

I loaded Juliet into her car seat (against her will).  I got her buckled in (against her will).  And I put the tricycle in her lap.  Obviously, the tricycle was too big to fit in her lap and was heavy.  Still crying, she said, "Help please! Help please! Help please!"  Using every ounce of patience I had left, I managed to convince her that I could help her by putting her bike on the seat next to her.  The entire ride home, she kept repeating, "My bike" but at least she wasn't screaming it. 

I am so very glad that Juliet likes her present.  And I am glad to have learned a very valuable lesson about Toys R Us.  We will never darken the doors of that store with children in tow again.  Ever.

Growing Girl

Chunky Monkey

Two weeks ago, I took Anna to the doctor for her two week check up.  Everything was wonderful - she was gaining weight nicely and was healthy and strong.

Two days ago, I took Anna to the doctor because she was congested and starting to cough.  I wanted them to listen to her lungs and be sure that what I was hearing in Anna's congestion was simply the crud that both Juliet and I have and not something more serious.  (Anna's so very new that I worry about her ability to fight off germs.)  Nikki, the PA, confirmed that Anna was just fine besides the head cold.

In the course of the exam two days ago, they - of course - weighed her.  And, in two short weeks, she'd gained nearly two pounds.  Two. Pounds.  In two weeks.  No wonder she has a double chin!  Anna has had two days in recent weeks wherein she wanted to eat every thirty minutes.  That's very hard on me for several reasons, but it's all totally worth it when I see how well she's growing.

She's also starting stay awake for a while after her day time meals, and she's even starting to smile at me... I think it's in response to me tickling her and not just gas.  Meh, maybe not.  Whatever.  I'll go with it's her smiling at me.  I love these changes and am so happy to see her thriving.

One Month

Rocking the baby 'fro.

Today, Anna is one month old.  This past month has been one of the best and most difficult of my life.  Our second daughter is simply amazing.  We thought Juliet was an easy baby, but Anna is even easier.  She pretty much only cries when she is hungry or gassy, and she is an excellent sleeper.  She is only up twice a night, which is better than some two year-olds we know.  She sleeps right through Juliet's loud play, through Juliet running up and down the hallway outside her door, and even through Juliet's temper tantrums. 

Her strength is outrageous - she can already roll onto her side, so rolling from her back to her tummy should come soon.  She holds her head and neck up very, very well (and has since the day she was born - like her sister).

I love her hair.  Ray joked early on that Anna must be the UPS guy's child because of her head full of dark hair, but I had hair just like that when I was born.  Ray has, apparently, just never seen pictures of me as an infant.  I suppose that I could (or should) try to fix her hair, but I can't bring myself to do so.  I have to confess that after I give her a bath, I don't even attempt to put her hair down... I might even be sure to fluff it up.  I think she rocks her baby 'fro pretty well.

Her little personality is already starting to reveal itself.  She really does not like her car seat unless the car is rolling along at a good clip, and she has no problem letting you know that she's unhappy.  She loves to snuggle and would sleep all day on our chests if we'd let her.  She is just now starting to spend some time each day awake, and we have loved looking at her bright eyes and her wild hair.

Anna has been such a wonderful addition to our family, and she serves as a constant source of amazement.  I look at her and am overwhelmed by how much I love her, her sister, and her father.  Love really is amazing.  Anna is also living, breathing proof that God is good.  Trying to prepare for Ray's absence during the first month of her life was challenging to say the least, but Anna was a bright spot in all of this.  Sitting in bed in the mornings with Anna and Ray, waiting on Juliet to wake up and join us, all I could think about was how wonderful our family and life is.

My friend Amanda told me after her son was born that God doesn't give you what you cannot handle, and Anna has shown me that my friend was right.  With a boisterous and independent toddler in the house and a husband working hard to get ready to leave for an extended period of time, I'm not sure I could have handled a difficult infant.  There are moments I'm not sure I can handle single mom life for longer than a few hours, and in those moments, I hear Ray's voice saying, "You can do this.  And you will."

Happy one-month, Anna girl.  We love you and are so glad you're here.

Practicing her Karate Kid moves.

SF Curse

Jack's* girls... Minus Ninja

Before we went for our big ultrasound with Juliet, both Ray and I knew she would be a girl.  I knew because I was a crazy pregnant woman, but Ray said he knew he'd have a girl "because it's the SF curse.  We all have girls."  He was referring to his job in the Army; apparently, men who do his job tend to have only girls.  I pointed out one guy on his team who has two boys, and he responded, "Yeah, but he's weird. ... And he's the only one."

With Anna, I really didn't know if she'd be a boy or a girl, but Ray again was certain it'd be a girl for the same reason he knew Juliet would be a girl.  In what was a moment of sheer insanity, I did tell Ray, "If you want to try once more for a boy, I'd be willing to try."  His response was simple and immediate.  He said, "No way.  I love my girls."

So my dear husband, who is as tough as they come, is surrounded by girls.  One of his friends (who has three girls with his wife) said, "Congrats on your newest girl! And welcome to hormone hell."  To his credit, he has embraced this life with open arms.  He insisted that the tricycle we got Juliet for her second birthday be pink even though I was leaning towards the traditional red Radio Flyer.  He consistently picks out girly things for them (with the rare camo onesie thrown in), and he has even tackled fixing Juliet's hair on more than one occasion. 

He jokes with the cat (who, by the way, is neutered) and says, "It's just you and me, pal.  We gotta stick together."  But it's moments like these that I know he really is completely happy with his house full of Handley girls:

And last weekend, as we sat in the spitting rain at the FSU game, Ray saw someone he went to high school with making the trek up 50-something rows and observed in a serious and pitying tone, "Poor guy.  God cursed him with two sons."

Juliet, Anna, and I are lucky ladies for sure.

*Ray is "Jack" to all military people, and since the curse is related to his service, it's only fitting that we're "Jack's Girls."

The Education of Handley Girls

As I am sure all parents do, Ray and I spend a decent amount of time talking about our girls' future.  A lot of that discussion centers on what we want for them in terms of education.  When it comes to informal education, we talk about things we want them to learn: the value of hard work, a healthy sense of competition, how to change a tire, the importance of financial responsibility, independence, etc. We almost always agree on the importance of these types of things when we envision the kind of women we want to raise. 

When we talk about formal education, the questions get much more detailed and our answers are not quite as much in alignment: do we want them to attend private or public schools? Should they live in a dorm when they go to college?  What are we doing to prepare for paying for college?  What are we willing to pay for in terms of helping them through college?  Which college should they go to?

Between the two of us, Ray and I have four degrees from Florida State.  In my mind, this obviously means that UF is not an option for either Juliet or Anna to attend.  Ray, however, insists upon injecting logic into the conversation and maintains that they are welcome to go to UF as it is a very good school.  I always roll my eyes when he says that and point out that if they go to UF, they will then, of course, be Gators.  Sigh.  I have no idea why he doesn't understand my position on this.  Fortunately, I have about 16 years to convince him I'm right on this one.

Regardless of where they end up attending college, one thing is certain: we will raise them to be Seminoles.  And as long as I am in charge of purchasing their FSU apparel, they will be wearing only the traditional Chief Osceola.  (I will not even bother providing you a link to the travesty that is the "updated" logo or all the discussion (a.k.a "outrage") it caused.)

Ready to watch the Noles play the Citadel in the home opener 9/6/14

Sisters

Being a big sister can be hard.  It's a lot of responsibility at times, and it means you have to share a lot.  I have to be honest, though.  Juliet is doing a great job when you consider that she's not quite two years old.

She wants to touch and hug and kiss Anna all the time.  She is concerned when Anna is crying, and she always says, "Bless you, baby!" when Anna sneezes.  She even tries to share her books and her beloved Sammy with her sister. 

There have definitely been some adjustments in the Handley House, though.  It's hard for Juliet when she can't sit in my lap whenever she wants, and she doesn't understand that I can't just stop feeding Anna and get her some cheese.  She also doesn't understand why we don't want her to lie on top of Anna in an effort to hug her or why we don't let her help bathe Anna. 

But we're making progress.  Juliet now grabs her pillow and sits next to me while I feed Anna (see picture above) on "the baby's pillow" (known to retailers as a Boppy).  She will call out the baby's body parts but is getting much better at not jabbing a finger in Anna's face as she identifies "baby's eyes," "baby's nose," and "baby's mouth." 

Both of our girls have exhibited their ability to sleep through the other's crying or screaming as the case may be.  For that, I am eternally grateful.  Juliet doesn't wake when Anna does for her middle-of-the-night feedings, and Anna sleeps right through any tantrums or dance parties Juliet may have. 

Anna Reese Handley

In a previous post, I explained the debating and compromising it took for us to settle on a name for our second baby girl.  But because we weren't revealing the name until she arrived, I couldn't explain the why behind the names - just the initials.

Ray chose Anna, and I chose Reese.  There are Anns on both sides:

• Carol Ann, my grandmother
• Stacey Ann, my aunt
• Ann Johnson, Ray's mom
• Elizabeth Ann, Ray's sister

By choosing Anna instead of Ann, we get to honor both sides of the family without really having her be named after anyone.  Reese was an R name we could both agree upon.  Ray was adamant that we not use Rae, and we really couldn't agree on many other names.  So, Reese won out.

About two months before Anna was born, Ray and I were lying in bed talking about her imminent arrival and debating what to call her.  I wanted to call her Reese, and he wanted to call her Anna.  As someone who's gone by his middle name his whole life, Ray feels like it's just sort of a hassle.  But I have several friends with daughters named Anna, and I didn't want her to have to be Anna H. at school.  All of a sudden, I realized there was already an Anna in our family.  My paternal grandmother, the one with whom I shared a birthday and who is why I wanted a girl born in September so badly, was Anna Clarice Fletcher.  I had completely forgotten her given name because she was Clarice "Squeaky" Fletcher VanLandingham for so long.  Remembering this really changed how I felt about calling her Anna.  Suddenly, it just felt right.  Even though she is not named after Granny Squeaky, I really like that they share a name.  And calling her Anna feels like a nice way to include Granny.  (Also, it has not escaped me that "Reese" is the pronunciation of the last syllable of Granny's middle name.  I'm choosing to think that Granny had a little hand in this - it was her way of being involved even though she's not here with us.)

So, on the night we brought Anna Reese Handley home from the hospital, we toasted her with a bottle of Anna champagne (courtesy of Jack and Ann Handley) in glasses that originally belonged to Anna Clarice Fletcher VanLandingham. 

Life is good.