Mama Needs a Vacation

This was as close as I'd let them get to each other today since Juliet was sick.

It's been eight weeks since Ray left.  Eight long weeks.  Sundays are, as I explained previously, hard days.  But this Sunday was probably one of the hardest.

Juliet projectile vomited at 8:30 this morning.  She soaked my bed, me, and herself before I could get her to the bathroom.  For someone who was projectile vomiting, she took it pretty well, but it went on for minutes.  It scared me.  And it was gross - I don't deal well with vomit.  I stripped myself, stripped her, and stripped the bed.  She got the comforter, both sheets, a pillow, and the mattress pad.  Sigh.

Then Anna had some serious gas issues today that had her ripping toots and spitting up like crazy.  In addition to soaking her bibs and burp cloths, she also soaked herself and me.

Mid-afternoon, Juliet managed to get poop on me while I was changing her second dirty diaper of the day.

It's now 10 till eight.  Juliet is in her fourth outfit (pajamas currently) of the day, Anna is in her sixth (she promptly spit up and soaked her pjs after bathtime), and I am in my third (but my shirt and jeans are wet with the last of the spit-up from Anna).

I am exhausted.  I have been puked on, spit-up on, and pooped on.  Being a single parent is hard, but one of the things I find most challenging is that I really don't ever get a break.  I know I need to get some help, but that's harder than I thought.  First, there really are only three or four people I would leave alone with both girls.  So I either need to find two sitters for the girls or one sitter and then take one of the girls with me.  And that, my friends, isn't really a break.  Second, in order to get two sitters (or to secure one of those few people who I trust with both girls at once), I need to plan way out - at least a week in advance.  And then add in the guilt factor: guilt at asking two people to sacrifice their time to watch my girls or guilt at paying for two sitters or guilt for asking the same people I always ask to help... Just guilt guilt guilt. 

Ray always makes it a point to ask me to find something good in my day when I've had a bad day.  So, in that spirit, I will say that I am so very, very grateful for Aunt Gay.  She brought Gatorade for Juliet, and she also brought us supper.  It was so very wonderful to not have to even think about supper.